a little coffee and self reflection

I’ve been inspired today.  I’ve been inspired for the last 6 weeks although I have done little about it.  This morning after having a long and frustrating pre-coffee conversation with my sweet man, I feel ready for this post.

Last night I read a wonderful blog post by my favorite Madison wedding planner. Yup, I have a favorite.  She is talented, calm, arty, sweet, beautiful, and wonderful at articulating her ideas and dreams, both in her blog and over breakfast at Eldorado.  Yup, Corinne, I mean you. I think you are amazing. I think you write beautifully and I am so thrilled that you are a colleague in this most interesting field that we are in.  I am inspired by you often and maybe sometimes even a little green as follow your thoughtful work. But you know what, that drive me to be better, to be more thoughtful, to be more thorough. So thank you.

This morning I read a brilliant blog post about what is really making “It”.  I have been following the very open and honest blog posts of wedding photographer Jenna Leigh, and I totally recommend that you read these!  They are funny, poignant, open and honest. Something I hope I am or can aspire to be.

And regularly I read a blog written by a woman I have known for a few years.  In fact we go all the way back to high school, although we didn’t know each other then.  She too is funny, poignant, open and honest, and somebody I think of as a model to follow in business, in life, and in how we give to our community.

These women are phenomenal women… have you ever read the Maya Angelou poem? If you haven’t Google it; if you have, re-read it, it’s good for the soul. I want to celebrate these women, and I think everyone should read what these AMAZING women have to say about the world and their world, lives, adventures, successes and the way they turn challenges and near failures into lessons of learning, because that is what I am trying to do.

Sara Alvarado: She even titles her blog Wisdom Blog.  You will love it. You will laugh, you will have amazing conversations with friends because of it, you will reflect.

Jenna Leigh: Oh my gosh, she is hysterical and so talented.  It is a joy to read her nearly daily blogs. I really should start commenting, because everything she writes about is so real, both in work and life… especially wedding work and life.  Her Blog post today about Chasing Dreams in Yoga Pants and it made my heart swell.

Corinne Van Arsdale: She wrote a Hope List for 2014 that I can so relate to. It is something that I thought a lot about last night…and because of this I feel inspired.

As i mentioned, I spent a fair amount of time talking to myself last night, this morning, {and if I am being truthful} over the past few weeks about wanting to be more open, more personal, less secretive, more driven, organized and accountable… so maybe these three women and their words are the catalyst in that.  I tried last year.  I did a blog post about a journey of weight loss that I was embarking upon.  I had over a couple of years packed on some pounds and found myself in a yucky place of vanity, discomfort and general blahness… and while I fell off the wagon of posting about, I didn’t fall of the wagon of working at it, and of making healthy steps for myself. You can read about where I started hereI have been really good about this. I work hard, I even ran a 10k. My kid {and family} think I am doing awesome, and I feel great. There is always more to do, more goals to hit, so when this blog post is done, I am gonna work out. BUT, the past year of putting my health and fitness at the top of my list was transformative and  I even started to feel really great about what I saw in the mirror and I was so empowered that I let my dear friend photograph me, and the photos were amazing, my progress was amazing, I don’t think I knew what I looked like anymore. I am so glad I did this.

photographs by Amandalynn Jones Photography

From here there are many more things I want to do… but also so many things I want to celebrate that I do well and so many ways I hope to grow…

I am a great mom: I really am.  I have a wonderful boy, who is smart, works hard, is funny, is handsome, is someone I am so proud of, and just a neat person to know.  This year, this summer we are beginning to visit college campuses and  it breaks my heart just thinking about it, but it is just as much about my growth as his, he is growing into his own person and I have to let him go to do it.

I want to be more open: I think I am funny, I tell stories and people laugh, I have in-depth and wonderful conversations with friends that are thoughtful, but I tend to still keep a lot to myself for whatever reason and I think there is a lot to share… I want to work on that. I am self aware but I am very secretive. It is weird how a seemingly so open and gregarious person can keep so much to herself. I want to share the world about the fun in my work and life and the lessons I learn because of it, the ridiculousness in my daily adventures, and be honest about my fears and failures {that often manifest in a little bit of a green demon in my heart – yup, envy}  and maybe in my openness I can celebrate my hard work as just that, instead of chance. To celebrate the greatness {without envy} of all the talented and amazing people I surround myself with and the profound goodness in simple life moments.

I am a great wedding planner: Plain and simple, I think I am great at what I do.  Although sometimes I beat myself up, wondering if this is a “real job”  and yet I have plans for an Empire… so I need to work on those. Get out the message of the importance of what I do and that it is not just luxury. What it takes to do the work I do.  The service and help and goodness that I bring to others in doing what I do.  It is a real job, a real emotional job, and it is real work both for the mind and the body.

I want to grant myself more patience: Things fall behind and that is okay. Sometimes the house is a mess, but that is why we have a housekeeper. I don’t always want to dry my hair or look fashionable {or even remotely put together}. I screw up all the time and need to learn to let it be okay {because we all screw up}, to get up and keep going, and not bury my head in the sand when that does happen, this applies to my work and my life.  I hope that in time I will learn to balance work, personal life, free time, blogging, and walking the dog.

I need to volunteer more… and I need to remember that I do already give a lot: Work harder, but also give myself a break that more constructive than hiding beneath the covers watching Netflix. I need to find a way to use my powers {and by powers I mean talent, skills, my big mouth and ability to wrangle others} for good – real good. I am just not sure what that is yet. I need to remember that right now I am giving a lot of my heart, energy and money to make sure that  Thad is successful in the next part of his life and maybe that is all I can give this year and that is okay too. I need to remember that when I celebrate the successes of my talented friends and their involvement in the community, that I am giving good to the world and spreading a message of giving also. I need to remember what an honor it is that I am a mentor to some and often I forget that.

I want to give up the need for perfection and transform it into satisfaction: In her post Jenna touched on the problem of always being a goal-getter, goal-setter, and goal accomplisher. What comes with that is that you are always chasing a carrot, and I think often that is a carrot that we {not others} dangle in front of ourselves.  So I need to remember that maybe I will never hit that perfect version of myself, because I am constantly envisioning who that is, and changing it up as I grow, and learn and accept that that is my process.  In college my mom used to remind me that I didn’t need to be perfect, that I needed to be good enough because often my standard of what was good enough was set so high that the work was beyond good enough. See Mom… I listen.

I want to give up the need for perfection and transform it into satisfaction…. I am going to say that again, if only for my own benefit. It allows triumph and failure. It allows the ability to fix what I have not been doing right into something I can be proud of. I think it can transform failure {and failure isn’t bad, but with the wrong mindset it can be crippling} and creates room for improvement and completion.

So that’s it for today. I love you friends. Thank you for reading this. I would love to hear what you think. I think I am going to keep working at this, this personal blogging thing, it doesnt have to be perfect, but I will make an effort to be out there and be open.

Have a super day.

4 Responses to a little coffee and self reflection

  1. I LOVE THIS POST!!!! You look amazing by the way, but you always have. I am so proud of you and what you have done with your business. You have always taught me about drive and working hard. And I look at what an amazing job you have done with raising Thad and I wonder if I can do at least half that good with my kids.
    You are great!

  2. Go Jenny!! The pictures of you are SO beautiful! I love your honesty. I too have thought about blogging and many of the other things you mention. This is inspiring. So grateful you also honor my sister the way I do for her own postings and goodness. Keep it up! xo

  3. Jenny that was a beautiful post filled with awesome women and great goals for your self! You look absolutely stunning in those photographs!
    Also I agree 100% that you are a great wedding planner and SUPER funny! :) I look forward to working with you on my big day this year!!

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Welcome to the LHE blog and my place to tell my couples' love stories and share random thoughts. A bit about me...I love weddings. I love my clients. I love comfy shoes and jeans. I am obsessed with EOS lipbalm. I talk too much about my kid. I drink way too much coffee. Often my clients and I become great friends, and mostly...I am so excited that you stopped by. 

My absolute joy in being a wedding planner comes from celebrating with you during your most important moments. 

So let's have some coffee & chat! 

xo - Jenny